is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
