Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I am available for nakedness
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
