After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize