ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
