I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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