I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
