im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
