When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
