I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize