it was like eating out sand paper
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
