Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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