I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
