She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
