yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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