After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I looked at my own cervix.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
