Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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