My room smells like vodka and shame
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
