Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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