i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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