good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Randomize
