i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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