IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
