peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
