while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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