I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
