You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize