they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
How does one acquire holy water?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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