I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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