no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize