why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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