yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
