I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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