If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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