I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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