How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
