i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
