kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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