Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
