And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
