end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
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