from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize