I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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