If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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