She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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