You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
