i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
