My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize