I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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