I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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