she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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