i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
