Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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