I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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