Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
