i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
