sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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