My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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