My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
