I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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