I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i believe in u and ur pee
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
