My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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