Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
