do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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