All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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