hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
