Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
