i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Congratulations! We have a period
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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