Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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