Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
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